Lack of Freebies, Image of Forlorn Boy Mar 2008 AALS Conference

I was drawn to the 2008 law professors' convention - the Association of American Law Schools' annual meeting in New York - because of its upbeat theme: "Passport to the World's Celebrations!"

Not only does that phrase capture the essence of what is on all of our minds, as law professors, but it clearly sounded more fun than the 2008 Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena, theme: "Reassessing our Roles as Scholars and Educators in Light of Change."

Unfortunately, three things marred the convention.

First was the mascot of AALS 2008, the forlorn law student about to be crushed by enormous ancient legal texts (picture, left). His image haunted me throughout the week. (Cf. Jingjing the good-luck panda for the 2008 Summer Olympic Games in Beijing - a much better choice (picture, below right).)

Second, the armada of publishing and legal accessorizing companies that descended upon the New York Hilton came with no freebies. There were no highlighters. No post-it pads. No commuter coffee mugs. I sat for hours in coach-class seating for this? One publisher did have some miniature lava lamps, but it appeared that you had to sign up for something in order to get one. I walked away as quickly as possible.

Third, the convention was in New York. Before I went, I thought I missed the Big Apple. It turns out, not so much.

Walking down 6th Ave, I overheard a snipet of conversation of a couple coming toward me. The woman said to the man, "It must have been spit."

"I hope so," the man said, rolling his eyes in disbelief.

I took the cue to carefully scan the sidewalk in front of me. In about four paces, there it was. Something so horrible, so vile, so biological, I cannot, in good conscience, describe it here. But I will say that looking at it, I understood how, in all its technicolor depravity, it clearly begged speculation as to how to categorize it within the known realm of substances.

Although I sidestepped the awful thing, I still sat through every panel discussion thinking of how I could burn my shoes when I got back to North Dakota.